I've been saying, "I just can't" a lot this last week.
I can't wrap my head around a beautiful man, a friend, a father, a husband taking his own life. I just can't.
I can't go into one of my stories and find the hope it in, the joy in it, after that.
I can't wrap my heart around the innumerable ripples his loss will make in our world.
And nothing can be wrapped around the mass shooting in Vegas.
I JUST CAN'T.
So, now what? Curl up on the couch and give in? Well, maybe for a day.
Turn to my daughter and lap up the sound of her unencumbered laughter? Yes, every day.
Sit in the sun and just let Autumn breathe through me with a nip of air and it's heavy fragrance?
Do it all.
Feel all of the emotions.
Feel numb if you have to.
Do it all, and then, stand, open your eyes, breathe and get back to work.
It's Inktober right now. I find that IF ALL of those artists can make some magic every day.
So can I.
I find that even though my heart is numb, editing is something I can do, so I edit.
And in doing so, my characters with their hearts beating, their voices growing stronger, help me to my feet again.
SO I edit.
Push through. Find your focus. Make art. Bring joy.
And even though I have said, "I can't" today more often than I should. I have found that my actions are more of, "I can". It's a dance right now one along side the other.
I discovered this poster the other day, Julie Hedlund of 12x12 had posted it. I reposted it and will continue to keep going back to it as needed.
Breathe and then, FOCUS. Then, go out and create. Make some beauty for others to share and take home in their hearts and their aching souls.